What do you look for in a man...

... besides a job to pay your bills?

My future brother-in-law posted that as his FB status. Here's my response:

"Well... I like a man who is honest, kind, caring, sweet, funny, intelligent, respectful, and down to earth. I like a man who will accept me for all of my faults and who won't be quick to judge me. I like a man who will provide for me as much as I provide for him, who will always be there for me whenever I need him, and who will never leave my side even when times are rough. I like a man who can just learn to appreciate the simple things in life, who isn't always focused on the big lights or the shiny watches or the glamour. Most importantly, I like a man I can totally be myself around. I don't wanna have to feel embarrassed about being a little gassy or accidentally burping out loud, even though nothing I do is an accident. I like a man I don't always have to dress up around. I like a man who will tell me I'm beautiful even when I still have my bed hair and the lil' crusts in my eyes. And you know what the beauty of all that is? I found all of that in your brother.
He's A M A Z I N G... ♥ and I love him."

I have...

... some of the most amazing friends in the world. :] Just saying.

All summer long, I've spent the majority of my time hanging around the same five people: Leah, Ashley, Edwin, Joshua, and Glen (my boyfriend). Yea, I've spent some time with a couple of more people maybe once or twice, but these five are pretty much the ones I see like ALL THE TIME. They're the ones with whom I have the most pictures with. They're the ones with whom I've made the most summer memories with. Everyone else? They've either been busy or we just never got around to it... Like, my best friend, Darrion, for instance. I miss him so much... -_-

Hopefully, this weekend, I will get all the pictures in the world with everyone. I'm having my Going Away Dinner Party at Joe's Crab Shack, and I'm expecting people to be there. How many exactly? I honestly have no clue... I gotta come up with some number to tell the people though, so they can reserve our tables/seats and junk. I really hope Joshua will be able to make it. He's moving to North Carolina on Saturday to live with his daddy. That flood we had a couple of months ago really took a toll on his household. He and his mother both lost their jobs, and now, two months later, things still haven't improved...

 Life sucks.

I feel like I'm losing all of my friends... Leah's going to Clarksville, TN. Ashley's going to Murfreesboro, TN. Darrion's going to Cleveland, TN. Edwin's going to the freaking ARMY! Joshua's going to Charlott, NC (sad face). And me... I'm going to Knoxville, TN.Wtf. I think the only person staying behind is like Glen. We're all going to be sooo far apart. It's not even funny. As soon as I found out exact addresses, please believe there will be a lot of writing involved... I will send photos and small gifts and etc. Facebook will also become even more of a friend to me than it already is now... It's crunch time.

I leave on Wednesday, August 4th, at 4:30 AM. I believe Leah's going to spend the night after we make CARE packages for the homeless/hungry and all that. This is so sad... While I'm suffering at band camp, all of my friends will still be packing and getting ready to leave. Darrion doesn't leave until the 13th, I believe. Ashley leaves the 27th. I believe Leah leaves around the same time. And Ed? He leaves for basic on the 18th, the day I start classes...

What in the world am I going to do?!

So apparently...

... I'm stuck up.

LMFAO! I can't even begin to express to you guys the invalidity of this statement.

Percussion Camp...

... was fucking HELL! I've never been so got damn sore or in so much pain in my mother effing life. Like, seriously... I know I haven't updated in a few days, and that's because I haven't had my laptop since Thursday. I left town early Friday morning, and for some odd reason, I decided to leave my laptop here... Stupid mistake. Umm, anyway... I arrived at my school like an hour early and had to sit there for two and a half hours doing nothing. Instead of doing nothing, however, I decided to get some extra practice in on my music. I thought I was gonna be the only girl at first. Then, this white girl came in and introduced herself. A lot of time passed by, and we thought we were gonna be the only girls. Then, ANOTHER white girl came. In my head I was thinking "Damn... Am I gonna be the only Asian on this drumline?"

... I am.

Well, anyway... Let me tell you about why this weekend was nothing but hell for me. Ok, so I wanted to march the bass drum, right? And I practiced and auditioned to play the bass drum. I thought I was doing pretty well, at first... Then, when I got called in to actually audition for the drum, I got so nervous that I effed the first piece up! I was sooo mad at myself. I like, kept beating myself up about it and all that jazz. Well, after a grueling two and some odd hours of just laying around waiting, we finally heard the placement of the line. Guess what? I didn't make bass drum. You know what I got? Crash cymbals. -_- Like, wtf, dude. I had never played cymbals before in my life! Ok, well, maybe I did once... but that was for a football game where I had to play the cymbal part during the National Anthem. I knew the part; I just couldn't play it... And let's just say that I messed it all up. HA!

But yeaa... I got cymbals. When I heard my name called for that section, I was really down at first... Like, I wanted to quit immediately. But then, I had to think rationally and tell myself "Hey, let's be positive. Let's be optimistic." And in all honesty, it was extremely hard to be positive. Like, I was sooo unsure of myself. I almost cried when we went to sectionals. PLAYING THE CYMBALS IS HARD AS HELL! Like, I never had an appreciation for people who played the cymbals, but shieet... NOW, I DO! After the first day of practice, I cried in the car on the way back to the hotel... It was so sad. I wanted to quit all over again. I kept telling myself that if the second day wasn't better, I was not coming back. My boyfriend told me to "Never let anything get [me] that upset." Didn't really work out...

I could go on forever talking about how much I hated practice, but I won't... I'll just sum it all up by saying that playing crash cymbals takes a lot of upper-body strength, something I am clearly lacking. Playing the drums was never hard for me... It never required that much upper-body strength. It just required back strength -- WHICH WAS FINE BY ME! But whatever... I can't change it now. As much as I miss beating a drum, I have to put up with learning how to play a different instrument. If anything, the only positive that came out of this is the fact that I'll be an even more experienced percussionist. Everything else that comes with playing the crash cymbals can kiss my fucking ass! Well, everything except for the fact that my arms are gonna be SUPER toned by the end of football season... Haha. But that shit's gonna hurt! :/ And hey, let's look on the bright side...

... at least I didn't get cut.

Beautiful Girls...

... LMFAO.

The things we take for granted...

... are the things other people cherish dearly. I just read this amazing story on AOL News about a guy who was born with a birth defect, leaving him with only a thumb on his right hand. Throughout high school, he learned to adapt to his condition while playing for his high school orchestra and starting on his high school lacrosse team. Two weeks before his graduation, he was introduced to a new technology, a bionic hand, which would allow him to move each of the fingers individually. Something as simple as pouring a glass of water to drink was an emotional thing for him, because he was learning how to do it for the first time.

Watching the video really touched me... It made me think about how I really do take for granted the simple things in life: drinking clean water, eating good food, being able to bathe, having a bed to sleep in, having nice clothes, etc. I think a lot of us do... and I think we all need to take the time to appreciate the little things that we have, because somewhere out there in the world, another person is being deprived of it.

Read more about this story here.

RAWR!

... After taking my braids down...

The TRUTH about Prostitution.

... According to these two women.

"... Bitch, I'm a pimp."

Dear 30: Your reflection in the mirror.

Wow... I can't believe this challenge is over already. You know, ever since I started this, I've been anxiously waiting to be able to write this final letter. I'm really glad I participated in this challenge, and I'm honestly proud of myself. I've released some things I have been holding back and keeping away from everyone... and it feels really good to have let it all go. Anyway, thank you all for keeping up with my letters and for reading and leaving feedback. You guys are awesome! :] Well, here's to the last letter... My reflection.

------------------------------

Dear Reflection,

I used to look at you and hate what looked back at me. I used to despise the way you would do exactly what I did, almost as if you were mocking me. I used to look at you and wish that I looked differently. I used to stare at you and just cry... I used to stare at you and imagine that you would have a conversation with me. You know... like I saw in the movies. But now... Now, I look at you and say "Damn... She badd." Lol. Now, I think we're one of the most beautiful girls known to man. Now, I look at you and make cute, little stank faces. Now, I look at you and blow you kisses... I love you. I love looking at you. Call me conceited, but... Shieet. I'm feeling myself. If I were a guy, I would sooo do you. BAHAHA! But that's beside the point.

The fact that I'm trying to make is, we've come a really long way. I used to have very little self-esteem, very little self-confidence. Now, I have just about all the confidence in the world. As far as self-esteem is concerned, yeaa... I admit. I still down you a little bit, but I am getting better at it. I've learned to love you for who you are, and I've also learned that other people love me the way I am as well. You have come so far in life... I am so proud of you us. Nothing and NO ONE can ever stand in our way. And if anyone ever tries to, just punch them in the face. :] Haha. Nahh... but for real. I love you sooo much... and we still have lots of growing up to do. Can't wait to look at you in 10 years and reflect on how much we've accomplished and how far we've come. Thanks for everything, reflection.

Thanks for always being there...

Love always,
Your reflection

Day 29: The person that you want to tell everything to, but you're too afraid to.

Dear Mom,

We've never had a healthy relationship growing up... I don't know why. I've just never been able to actually sit down and talk to you about the way that I feel. I know I've tried sometimes, multiple times actually... Each time I either just grew frusterated and stopped talking or I just ended up crying myself to sleep. I don't know what it is... Maybe it's the communication barrier. Maybe it's the fact that I can't fully express myself in Vietnamese, and you can barely understand English. Maybe it's the fact that I'm afraid of what you'd think... Maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that I'm afraid that you don't really care. *sigh* I just wish I could talk to you... I wish I could tell you everything. You've often said that I care more about my friends than I do about you, and sometimes, I feel it's true. Sometimes, I feel like they love me waaayy more than you do/ever have. I know for a fact that they definitely know more about me than you do/ever will... and I don't know how long it'll stay that way. My friends are always there... You're not. And as much as I love you, I honestly don't think we could ever be that close... It sucks, doesn't it?

Love always,

Your daughter

Day 28: Someone that changed your life.

Dear You know who you are,

I love you guys sooo much. Thank you for making me the happiest 17-year-old in the world. I have the best friends. When my world is upside down and drama surrounds my life, a night out with you guys just makes everything all better. I'm going to miss you all sooo effing much while I'm away in Knoxville. And I know I keep saying that, but it's the truth. These days are winding down quickly... so we need to make the most of them. We need to take wild, silly, and crazy pictures. We need to have fun in the sun. We need to go random places and SHUT THEM DOWN! We need to show out these next two and a half weeks. But yeaa... Thanks again for everything.

Love always,

Jennifer

All animals have the same parts.

Ok, so Leah posted this link on her Facebook recently, and I decided to skim over it a little bit... Pamela Anderson is gorgeous, btw... Even if her boobs are fake. So basically, this article talks about how all animals have the same parts and how animals have feelings, lives, families, and etc. too. It even mentions how over 90% of the world's meat comes from factory-farm animals or something like that, and it claims that those animals are mistreated and are deprived of everything that is natural to them. As I was reading, I couldn't help but feel as if the author of the article added some extra ughh to the article to make the situation seem more serious than it really is...

I'm sorry, but I could never be a vegetarian.

The idea sounds nice and all, but I just don't think I could ever give up meat. I'm a person who loves animals, like "Omg, it's so cute!" but if I'm starving and that's what's there, I'm gonna eat it...With no remorse. I'm also a person that believes that animals were put on this earth for a reason... for us to eat! Cows were made for us to be able to eat steak and hamburgers and all that other stuff that comes from a cow. Chickens were made for us to have the wings and the legs and the breasts that we want... The nuggets and the tenders and the fingers that we want. Pigs were made for us to have bacon and short ribs and etc. Turkeys were made for Thanksgiving and to use as a pork alternative. The list goes on and on.

All you "Go Green" people could preach to me for days and days for the rest of my life, and I STILL wouldn't change my mind about eating meat... I don't care how much they've been tortured. At the end of the day, it feeds me, and I'm absolutely satisfied. If I sound selfish and/or evil, ohh, fucking well.

Anyway, if you're interested, read the article here.

Day 27: The friendliest person you knew for only one day.

Dear whomever you are,

I don't even remember you... Thanks for being kind though. I'll be sure to return the favor.

Love always,

Jennifer

Day 26: The last person you made a pinky promise to.

Wow... I don't even remember the last time I made a pinky promise.

On to the next one...

Today...

... was a great day. After dropping my car off at the car shop, Leah, my boyfriend, and I went to Wal-Mart to do some college shopping. Before we started looking around, I tried to cash my paycheck. The lady said she didn't know why, but it wasn't letting me. I was like "Ok... I'll just go to the bank." After that, Leah and I started looking around and were both overly excited about all the colorful supplies they had stocked on the shelves. I bought a bookshelf and a mesh shower caddy. We mostly looked around Wal-Mart, because I couldn't buy all the stuff that I wanted. Before we left though, Leah and I had fun playing with the shopping carts... Here are the videos:

Lol. Ok, so after we left Wal-Mart, I got my car and we went to the bank to cash that check. I also opened up a checking account! Because I'm a minor, I had to have someone of legal age be on the account with me. Guess who the designated adult was? My boyfriend! I should get my debit card within 3-5 business days. At the mall, Leah and I did what girls usually do: go to every store, try on lots of stuff, etc. We made my boyfriend mad, because we took forever in Sears trying on clothes. Ohh, well. We had lots of fun taking crazy pictures though... Here are a few:

After we left the mall, we went to Target, and I bought a countertop ironing board, a small pillow, and an area rug. I'll post the pictures for everything when I move into my dorm... :] After Target, we went to the Redbox and rented Up and The Crazies. We watched Up in my house's bonus room, and it was sooo cute and funny. I had never seen it before tonight, so I was really happy I got to see it. The stupid disk was scratched up though, so I think I missed a part or two... :/ Ohh, wells.

This is pretty much the summary of my day... I can't wait to spend another day with Leah just shopping and being girls. It will definitely be a lot of fun.

Day 25: The person that you know is going through the worst of times.

I don't really know who this person is right now, but I do hope that they make it through whatever it is that they're going through...

Love always,

Jennifer

Day 24: The person that gave you your favorite memory.

You know, I have so many memories... It's kinda hard to say which one was my favorite. Therefore, I choose not to dedicate this letter to any one specific person. Here it goes...

To all of my friends whom I have shared memorable nights with, I love you. Thanks for being the excitement I need in my life. I will miss you all... but when I come home, we will make even more memories! For the mean time though, let's go all out and make my last few weeks ones to remember.

Love always,

Jennifer

Blog Awards.

Sooo I got this blog award from my sissy, Leah Beah. :] I feel appreciated. Like her, this is my first blog award. I'm kinda excited... Well, not really, but you get the idea.

1. Post the award on your blog

2. Link the person who has given you the award

3. Pass the award to other 15 blogs you've discovered

4. Let these 15 people know that you've given them an award

Here are my favorite blogs:

Leah's (of course)

Brain Twin (Tumblr)

LaLa

Keys

Nastassia

Jayka

Jasifer

Hermeline

Shelburrss

Sandi

Pia

Toronto, California

Weesha

Shakiraa

Netta

I've noticed that Leah and I follow a lot of the same blogs. I bet these people will be delighted to know that they received the same award more than once.

LMFAO.

I'm sorry... This is just too funny to me.

Pink River Dolphins!

Save them... please?

Read the article here.

Umm, ok?

This has been irritating me for a few days now... Am I the only one who thinks it's stupid for you to not show up to something because there may be someone there that you don't like? Someone, I'm not saying whom, told me "I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna be in the same room as someone I don't like." You know how stupid I think that is? Do you know how I feel about that? It makes me wanna just say "You might as well stay in the house then... Don't go anywhere, cause there are gonna be people you don't like everywhere."

I just think people need to grow the fuck up and stop thinking about themselves. That is all.

Day 23: The last person you kissed.

Dear Baby,

It's funny, cause you're sitting right next to me... Actually, you just got up to move my car into the garage, but whatever. The point is you're here... and I love you. I love you ohh, so much. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, but I just don't know what to say. I just don't have the words. All I can say is what I've been telling you every day since the day we got together... I love you. And with time, I only hope that my love for you progresses and grows stronger.

Love always,

Your girlfriend

I'm a Tennessee VOL.

You know... Tennessee has always been known as the Volunteer State and I never knew nor understood why. I read a little bit about it on Shelburrss' blog once, but I really don't know much. Anyway, I've volunteered a lot over the time span of my high school career, and I decided that before I left for college, I wanted to leave a positive impact on my city. Today (well, yesterday), I volunteered for three hours at the local ThriftSMART. I managed the dressing room area and hung clothes back on the racks and straightened up the shoes and stuff like that... It was ok. I can truly say that I have a new appreciation for hanging up clothes now, though... No more hanging things up on random places, Jenn. Lol.

Umm... On the 31st of this month, I'm scheduled to help build Habitats for Humanities. Because I'm 17, I need an adult 21 years of age (or older) to come with me, so I'm hoping I have someone. :] For right now, I have my daddy, but who knows how that's gonna turn out... Why did I sign up to help with that project you ask? I don't know... I just always wanted to build a house, paint a room, or plant a flower garden or some trees for somebody. I always wanted to give somebody something that I put all my hard work and effort into... And I think this project will be the perfect opportunity. Now, I know it's gonna require a lot of time and dedication and possibly a lot of time in the sun (which I hate), but I know it's gonna be for a good cause.

I was talking to Leah about volunteering on Skype yesterday, and she seemed really excited about me wanting to make a difference. She also has been wanting to volunteer, but she's just been having transportation issues. Which can be solved, btw... ;] We've both signed up to build CARES Packages for people with HIV/AIDS and Homeless/Hungry people on August 3rd, my last night in Nashville. I think it's gonna be great... I'll get to spend my last few hours in town with someone I really care about, and we'll be doing something productive and meaningful to the city. *sniffs* I'm so proud of us... Lol. I really can't wait to get out and do things.

I hope that while I'm in Knoxville, I make some type of change... some type of difference and/or impact. I wanna like... make a mural out of a garden of pretty flowers or something... Paint a building, a mural, I don't know... SOMETHING. I wanna build a better name for myself. I wanna be known as more than just the smart Asian girl with glasses who sings and plays the drums.

... I wanna be remembered.

Day 22: Someone you want to give a second chance to.

Dear ___,

I don't really believe in second chances, but if I could have one with you, that would be awesome. I know I have a boyfriend and everything, and I know I shouldn't be thinking about this nor should I be dwelling on the past, but I just have to be honest... The times we shared together are ones that could never be forgotten. We've got this chemistry that could never be broken... And I'm just so comfortable around you. You are so silly. You make me laugh, give me butterflies, all of that... But enough of that. I'm only daydreaming/fantasizing. It's back to reality and my happy relationship.

Love always,

Jennifer

Old Spice...

... the man your man could smell like...

BAHAHAHAHA! Ever since I watched that video on Leah's page, I've fallen in love with this man. He is sooo funny.

Day 21: Someone you judged by their first impression.

Couple hours late, but here we go...

Dear Everyone I have ever passed judgement on,

I'm sorry, but I'm a judgemental person. Don't think I was only in it to pick on you... I judge everyone. Seriously. And most of the time, the first impressions that I make are correct... Other times, they're wrong, and I end up turning an enemy into a best friend. *shrugs* That's life. Anyway, I'm sorry if I judged you falsely... And I'm sorry if I hurt you because of that. I just can't help it... I said that I would stop being so judgemental, but it hasn't happened yet... I don't know why, but I just feel the need to speak on people whenever I see them. If you've ever hung out with me, you'd know what I'm talking about... I could be driving somewhere and I'll see someone walking down the street and talk about them. It's terrible. I just like to talk about people... I know it's wrong; at least I'm admitting it, right? -_-

I'll try harder next time... but I can't promise you anything.

Always,

Jennifer

"Maybe there's a shark in the water..."

New Degrassi: The Boiling Point...

Kinda excited.

Things That Make Me Happy.

Other things that make me happy:

I forgot to mention CAKE!

Day 20: The one that broke your heart the hardest.

... I'm not gonna waste my time writing you another letter. If you really need to read something, please refer to Day 7. Thank you.

Day 19: Someone that pesters your mind; good or bad.

This goes out to everyone who pisses me off:

GET OVER YOURSELF! GROW UP ALREADY! STOP BEING STUPID IDIOTS FOR ONCE!

That is all.

Sincerely,

Jennifer

Ok, no seriously... I'm gonna have to split this one up into sections. Here I go...

Two-faced people - Why do you feel the need to be two-faced? I just don't understand it. Either you like me or you don't. Don't go back and forth pretending... Cause I will go "back and forth" across your face!

Childish people - GROW THE FUCK UP! SHIT! I don't understand how you can be 16/17/18-years-old, and you still act like you're in fucking Kindergarten. Like, the majority of my graduating class was sooo effing childish... I'm just not understanding.

Self-centered people - Sweetie... The world does not revolve around you. I'm gonna need you to stop thinking that it does. It would help you out a lot.

Big girls who wear little bitty ass clothes - Need I say more? Stop dressing like you're a size 2 when you know you're not... Now, I'm not bashing big girls. I'm just saying that I wish some of them would dress appropriately. Wear clothes that flatter your size, not make you look like a trashy, lowscale, wanna be whore. Stop wearing clothes that leave your ass hanging all out or your breasts laying around everywhere... Please, please, PLEASE look somewhat appealing and presentable. That is all.

Drivers who like to ride me - BACK THE FUCK UP! Stop riding my ass... Cause one of these days, I'm just gonna brake suddenly and fuck your shit up. And who's gonna be getting all the money from the insurance companies? I am.

EDIT

Jockers/Stealers/Biters/THIEVES! - Seriously... Like, what the fuck? What possesses you to want to go out and STEAL someone else's stuff? Like, for real? It's one thing if you ask for permission and give a person credit... And it's totally another thing if you just steal bits and pieces or the whole thing in general and then, try to pass it off as your own. Did you honestly think you could get away with it? Did you honestly think people would respect you more or something? What, are you not intelligent enough to conjure up your own ideas? Your own thoughts? Are you just not creative enough? Like... I just don't get it. All of you should shoot yourselves and die... Or better yet, go jump off a bridge. No, no... How about I shove all the things that you stole down your throat and watch you suffocate in agonizing pain. Yeaa... That sounds good.

I'll think of more later...

Love always...

Day 18: The person you wish you could be.

... I'm sorry.

I don't wish I could be anyone. I'm proud of the person I have become. If I had to change something, though, it would have to be my sensitivity... 

Big girls don't cry.

They shouldn't anyway.

Love always,

Me

Day 17: Someone from your childhood.

Dear Nanny,

Where are you? I haven't seen you since I moved away after the 2nd grade. Now, I'm all grown up, and I really wish you could see the beautiful young woman I've become. I don't know if you died or if you just moved away... I tried to call that phone number (yes, I remembered it), but to no avail. I really wish I could see you... I learned so much from you. You practically raised me. And I know the last time I called and spoke with you, I was like 12... I guess I should've called more often to see how you were doing. I feel terrble... -_- But I can't change that now. I just really wish I knew a way to get in touch with you...

Love always,

Jennifer

Day 16: Someone who's not in your state/country.

Dear former B5 fanatics from 2005,

I would like to meet ALL of you, minus Shakiraa. I already met her. :] You guys made quite a few of my summers, and I'm surprised that most of us kept in touch! I love all of you.

Sincerely yours,

Jennifer

Holiday World.

I was definitely at Holiday World all day yesterday... I didn't get home until 2:00 AM today. I missed my Day 16 post. :/ I'll write it along with Day 17 and post them both... NO WORRIES! I'll also be back later to write about the trip and what not.

Day 15: The person you miss the most.

Dear (person I choose not to name),

You used to be my best friend... I cared about you a lot. We talked on the phone every night... I told you everything. You told me everything. We cried together (sort of). I loved you with all of my heart. I never thought I would lose you. And then... And then, I introduced you to the love of your life. My life changed at that very moment. You grew even more distant as your relationship with her grew stronger and stronger. And then... I never saw you again. She decided to put me out of the picture. She decided not to let me speak to you anymore... I still can't believe you chose her over me... but whatever. I miss you a lot... I still miss you to this day. I remember when you called me earlier this year... I cried my butt off. I never heard from you again after that. What the fuck happened? How did I let you disappear from my life that easily? What did I do? Why did I have to be sooo damn stupid?! -_- *sigh* I still blame myself... I wish you would come back. I wish we would be friends again. I miss you...

Love always,

Jenny

Day 14: Someone you've drifted away from.

Dear Joshua,

You've been my best friend since freshman year... Remember how we used to always be together? I'm talking about we walked to class together, we ate lunch together... Anytime you saw one person, you were guaranteed to see the other. People thought we were going together, lol... and they still do. -_- Anyway, remember how we used to be like the ONLY kids still at the school at 9:00 PM? We used to walk around the building and sing Chris Brown songs, lol. Remember how we used to talk on the phone for hours every single night? We'd have late night karaoke and sing Boyz II Men and other stuff like that. I miss those times... We barely talk on the phone anymore, and I guess I'm the one to blame. I just don't call anymore... However, we do still text and see each other, and that's a good thing. Hell, you're going with me to Holiday World this weekend! We're going to have sooo much fun, best friend. You know I love you a whole, whole lot... and I always will. And you know there will always be a special place in my heart for you. Ooh! Remember how you used to have a hard time telling me you loved me? I would be like "I love you, best friend." and you would be like "... Ditto." It was hilarious... and it hurt a little bit, but at the end of the day, I knew you loved me. Now, you're not afraid to say it anymore, and that makes me sooo freaking happy. Like, you just don't know. Remember all the super long hugs we used to give each other? And how we would randomly hold hands and walk down the hallways? Haha... I'm starting to see why people thought we went out. Ohh, and when I used to poke you in the back of the neck with an eraser freshman year in Ms. Hamby's World History Honors class, haha... Good times, good times. Every moment we've shared has been a good time... Like the Batman cupcakes I bought you for your 17th birthday, haha. I remember when I took you as one my dates to the military ball sophomore year... and you had to take me home. I made friends with your nephews, lol. They were cute... I still remember how extra ticklish you are and all of our silly inside jokes. Gahh, I miss you already, and I'm gonna see you in 24 hours. That's crazy... Anyway, I trust you with everything... And I am really going to miss you when I go to college. The reason I'm writing this letter to you is because all year, I've felt as if we have been drifting apart... And once again, I guess I'm to blame for that. I just don't live close enough for us to hang out all the time... And sometimes, well, all the time, I felt as if you had replaced me with everyone else... All the other people you were always hanging out with. It's ok though... I know you never meant for me to feel that way. Your voice: "I mean... if that's how you feel." LOL! I used to HATE when you would say that... But I guess I'm gonna end this here, BEAST. I hope we never grow apart and that we only get closer for the rest of our lives...

Love always,

Your Best Friend, Food Head

Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you.

This goes to the person whom I may have hurt the most:

I'm sorry for whatever it is I did to hurt you... Obviously, I don't remember what that was anymore, because I have moved on with my life. But if for some reason you're still holding onto that... I hope you can learn to let it go and forgive me, as I have learned to forgive myself. I have learned that throughout life, people will make millions and millions of mistakes -- both big and small. Nobody's perfect. What I did may have been what I felt was appropriate at the time, but understand that I was a young and foolish girl then. I am now, more mature, and I'm learning new things and adjusting my personality and my lifestyle every day in order to meet them. If you aren't in my life right now, maybe one day, we can resolve the issue and become acquainted again. Who knows where our paths will take us...

Sincerely,

Jennifer