Day 11: A deceased person you wish you could talk to.

Dear Grandma and Grandpa,

I don't even know who you are... Neither does my mommy. We've never met you, and as far as we know, you're both dead. Granny, I know mommy said there's a chance that you might still be alive out there somewhere... And she's been looking for you. She really has. *sigh* I've always been a little jealous of all of my friends who have/had their grandparents in their lives. All the memories they made, all the things they learned, all the love that was shared... Yea, I don't have any of that. I could never say "Ohh, I'm going to my granny's house." or "Ohh, my granny/granddaddy bought me that." It really hurts... It really hurts that I know absolutely NOTHING about where I came from. When I have kids, and they ask me about our family history, all I can say to them is "I don't know, baby... I don't know my family. Don't be discouraged though, because you know yours." I don't like this at all. I really wish you would have been in my mama's life... I really wish you would've been in my life. I really wish you would've been there the day I was born, to watch me grow, to watch me learn, to share all of my most important memories with me... You weren't there for any of my birthdays, and here I am, approaching 18. You weren't there for my high school graduation -- the highlight of my life. I really wish you knew the things I have had to live through... I really wish you knew how incredibly successful I am. I really wish you could be proud of all of my accomplishments and all of the growth I have made. I just really wish you knew... As much as I wanna say it, I can't even say that I love you... I don't even know you. You have been nothing more than a spoken concept, an idea. I know nothing about you... Neither do my parents. And that sucks... Really bad. Wherever you are, I just hope that you're proud of me... Cause that's all I ever want you to be.

Love always,

Your inexistant granddaughter