007.

Since the Internet is down right now, I’m typing this blog entry in Microsoft Word 2007. You can call it what you want, but when you need to write, you do what you gotta do. I originally planned on editing the previous blog entry and writing about what all went down that night, but now, I really don’t feel like it anymore. I don’t feel like elaborating or getting angry. I’m at peace right now… sort of. WE HAD NO SCHOOL TODAY! I was happy as hell. I get an extra day to complete some more homework. Ooh, now, the Internet is working again... Transferring this to the blog now.

Ok, now, I'm on the actual blog site writing... lol. I'm so silly. I went to my first Bible study last night. It was nothing like what I thought it would be. I thought Bible studies were when you all opened your Bibles, read them, and then, talked about the story or whatever it was that you were reading. Apparently, there are specific lessons that you touch on and specific verses you are to memorize. Right now, Idk if I like Bible study... but I'm sure it will all hit me later.

Let me tell you though... I've just been getting hit with all kinds of people from my past. The other day, I received a text message from my last boyfriend. I haven't talked to him since last summer when he texted me and I talked bad to him. Anyway, he sent me a text message basically saying "I'm sorry if I woke you up, but I just wanted to say happy new year." I texted him back in the morning, since I decided to let everything go at the end of last year. I told myself "Nahh, I'm not gonna be mean to him today..." He still seems like the same person. I honestly could care less if he texted me again.

Tuesday after school, I decided to finally drop by Jerrod's house to give him his stuff. I was with Darrion at the time, and the plan was to just give it to him and then, leave. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Because I'm friends with his older brother, Jermaine, I ended up chilling for a lil' bit and making friends with one of their nephews, Malik. When I handed off his stuff, Jerrod had the nerve to wrap his arms around me and hug me. Later on, he apologized and shit like that. I was like "I hear you." Jermaine told me that he said that he missed me... and Darrion told me later that night that he said he messed up. Darrion was like "I know... She told me everything. What you did was fucked up."

I just wanted to laugh. When Jermaine told me that Jerrod said he missed me, I was just like "They usually do. When people pass up on a good thing, they usually regret it and miss me. It never fails." And it's the truth... I hate when people do that. You don't realize what you have while you still have me... but as soon as I'm gone, you wanna realize that you made a mistake by hurting me. I feel bad for all the guys in my past and all the guys in my near future. Because of "douche bags" [Darrion's words] like them, Idk what's real or who's real... and because Idk, I'm acting SHYSTY towards everybody!

I really, really do miss Mario... but at the same time, Idk what's up with him. Idk what's up with us, if there even is an us. In the beginning, Mario said that I would lose feelings for him... I tried to tell myself that that wouldn't happen, but now, Idk. I still like him a lot. I'm just not sure if these feelings I have are going to develop into anything more than... Hell, I don't even know what his current feelings are at this point. I just know that he likes me... Idk if he wants to talk to me or what. Idk if he wants to build a connection with me that will later on develop into a relationship. Idk anything.

On the other hand, Glen... Glen knows that he wants to be with me. It bothers me a lot... Every time I've been exposed to a guy who really wanted to be with me, he ended up being fake and shit like that. I'm not tryna get involved with all that. At the same time though, the inside of me really likes the guy. I guess I just don't like him enough to show it... or to act like I even care about what he has to say to me. I've been acting so rude towards him lately... Our closeness, our friendship, our bond has just been totally blown off the roof. Idk what to say to him anymore... I'ma just let things roll. If I'm supposed to be in a relationship right now, or in the near future, I'll be in one... and God will choose the right man for me.